Something shifted in me this week.
I looked at my wife and realized I am falling in love again with who she is becoming. Not who she was when we met. Who she is now. The woman she has grown into through all the hard seasons.
I think we forget to do this. We marry someone and then stop paying attention to their evolution. We relate to the person we remember instead of the person standing in front of us.
Research from the Gottman Institute shows that the strongest marriages are built on continued curiosity. Couples who stay connected keep asking questions. They notice the changes. They fall in love with the new version, not just the memory.
I have been guilty of autopilot. Going through the motions. Present in the house but absent to her.
This week I am paying attention again. Asking questions. Noticing who she is becoming.
When was the last time you looked at your spouse with fresh eyes? What might you discover if you got curious again?
Brian